It’s 9 o’clock
I’m Sab Will
Here Is The News

As tidal waves and torrential rain
Continue to batter the beleaguered HMS England today
The crew and passengers are preparing themselves
For yet another 24 hours of hardship and terror

International rescue workers battled throughout the night
Against hurricane conditions looking for survivors of what
Is believed to be the worst disaster
In British naval history
England is, apparently, sinking

More holes have been discovered in the hull
And what were initially thought to be
Superficial hairline cracks on the foredeck
Have now widened to vicious gashes
Under the continual pounding of the biting sea water

Loses on a very personal level have produced
Some of the most harrowing images
From this terrible tragedy
Here, an elderly couple are waving frantically
From a shattered porthole before icy water engulfs them
While on the deck below we can see
A grief-stricken mother mourning
The loss of her entire family, swept away
By the cruel sea
England is, effectively, sinking

There was one ray of hope earlier today, however
When a nimble-footed three year-old managed to
Leap to the safety of a nearby rescue boat by using
The head of a floundering cross-channel swimmer
As a stepping stone
She is said to be recovering from her ordeal
Surprisingly well and has apparently asked
When she can play pirates again

And we have a late report just in
That at last there are signs the storm
May be easing slightly, as the winds
Turn south-easterly, carrying with them
The worst of the weather over to the continent
England is, nevertheless, sinking