Whirling, I caught
The merest glimpse
Of a shadow’s sneaking shadow
Hiding
Over there behind the door
Next to the wardrobe
Sniggering

“He thinks I’ve gone”
Hisses Real Shadow
Giggling
“Fell for the good old
Airport trick – but no!
I’m gonna haunt that bugger’s bathroom
Mess up his shirts
And generally Make My Presence Known”
Says she

So watch your back
You Crumbly Scrow
You grumbling grouch
She’ll catch you out
In the mirror, shaving
She’ll slip by

And salads will never be quite the same
She’ll dope them with fennel
And funny things

And her seat on the terrace
Will always be there
Right next to the Farmer’s
And Milkmaid’s
And Beethoven’s
And the chilling beers

Dry your tears, sucker
She ain’t gone – that’s the joke!
Just when you wanted
A bit of peace
Bloody Muddy’s crashing
All over the place
Breaking toilet seats
Royally fucking up
Brains better
Than Desperado & Co
She won’t go…